I'm Only Me When I'm With You
by GirlInTheMirror121
Summary: Songfic based on the Taylor Swift song of the same name, this story highlights Puck and Kurt's freshman year of high school and their up-and-down friendship with each other. Puck/Kurt friendship; T for language.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or I'm Only Me When I'm With You.**

**Note: Puck/Kurt friendship, nothing more, nothing less. Takes place during their freshman year of high school and is slightly AU. **

"Look, there's the Big Dipper, Noah," Kurt Hummel pointed out excitedly.

"Yeah," Puck said in a bored voice. "No offense, Kurt, but it's not that big of a deal. We've seen it before."

Kurt turned to face his best friend. "I think it's cool. Besides, didn't we use to stargaze for hours with your telescope?"

"Yeah," Puck rolled his eyes. "When we were like, seven. We're fourteen, Kurt. It's not 'cool' anymore."

"Well, fine," Kurt huffed, flopping back down on the grass.

"Hey, don't take offense, little buddy," Puck stroked Kurt's arm gently. "I'm just…I gave up on that dream of becoming an astronomer a long time ago."

"Mmm," Kurt nodded. "It's okay. At least it's warm out."

"Yeah," Puck agreed. "And you know I like spending Friday nights with my best friend."

Kurt blushed. "Some things never change, Noah."

"Can you not call me Noah?" Puck flinched.

Kurt propped himself up on his elbow, looking at his friend in confusion. "Why not?"

"It's not…cool," Puck sighed. "Call me Puck."

Kurt wrinkled his nose. "Puck? As in, hockey?"

"As in, short for Puckerman," Puck playfully punched Kurt's shoulder. "It's cool."

"It's stupid," Kurt shook his head. "And since when do you care about being cool?"

"Kurt, we start high school next week. I need to have a cool rep, you know?"

"No. I don't know," Kurt curled himself into a ball. "You know how hellish middle school was for me. Why do you think high school is gonna be any better?"

"Because," Puck sat up, putting an arm around the pale boy. "You have me. I've got your back, you know that. I've always been there for you, since we were little kids. Except that one time I had chicken pox." He sighed, tightening his grip on the small boy, who leaned his head against Puck's shoulder. "You know I'll protect you, little buddy."

"Won't I bring down your 'rep'?" Kurt asked, voice hinting of sarcasm.

"Maybe," Puck shrugged. "And maybe I don't care."

"Really?" Kurt whispered, heart skipping a beat.

"Really," Puck murmured, holding his friend close as the crickets hummed in the grass.

"Puck?" Kurt winced, trying out the new name.

"Aw, what the hell. Call me Noah. But only you and my Ma and Sarah can, okay?"

"Okay," Kurt nodded. "We…we tell each other everything, right?"

"Of course. Why, you got a problem? Is it a guy thing? Do you have like, your first dude crush or something?"

"You know me too damn well," Kurt muttered. "A matter of fact, yes, I do."

"Sweet," Puck grinned. "Who's the lucky dude?"

Kurt blushed. "Finn Hudson."

"…really?"

"What? Do you not approve?"

"You do realize he's straight, right, Kurt?"

Kurt hung his head. "I can't help it."

"Well," Puck sighed. "At least it's not Jacob Ben Israel."

"Ewwwww," Kurt gagged.

Puck laughed, tackling his best friend into the soft grass. "Well, good luck," he whispered into Kurt's ear. "And just know that when he rejects you, I'll be there for you."

"Thanks," Kurt whispered back. "You're my best friend in the world, Noah."

"You, too, Kurt."

Puck loved Kurt. Hell, Kurt was like his own little brother.

That's why he'd do anything to protect him.

Puck found Kurt crying in the bathroom. "Hey, what's wrong?" he knelt down to comfort the smaller teen.

"J-J-Jocks. They…they pushed me against a locker…"

"I'll kill them," Puck swore, getting up and storming towards the door.

"No, Noah, don't," Kurt stood up shakily. "They're not worth it!"

"No one messes with my best friend and gets away with it," Puck spat. He threw the door open, running down the hall to confront Karofsky. "Dude. I hear you're messing with my boy Kurt."

"Noah, please don't," Kurt begged.

"Kurt, they don't mess with you, okay? Let me handle this." He turned back to Karofsky. "Don't mess with my best friend, Dave. 'cause if you mess with Kurt, you're messing with me, okay?"

"Hey, look at this. Puckerman's queer, too."

"Oh shut up, Karofsky. Kurt and I have been best friends since we were like, three. Our moms were friends, all right? So now I suggest you leave him alone before I do to you what you did to him…only it'll be a lot worse for you."

"Fine," Karofsky sneered. "But I'll be back, and I'll bring friends. You're on my list, Puckerman."

"And you're on mine, Karofsky," Puck called after him as the Neanderthal stalked off down the hall.

"You didn't have to do that," Kurt murmured, his eyes shining.

"I'd do anything for you, buddy," Puck slugged him on the shoulder. "Come on. Let's get to class."

Sure, they drove each other crazy, but that's what best friends are supposed to do.

"He doesn't LIKE you," Puck yelled. "Why can't you get that through your head?"

"Finn's just…slow. He'll come around soon. It's not my fault Quinn Fabray got to him first. Before I know it, he'll realize his true feelings, and he'll come straight to me."

"No, he won't," Puck sighed, exasperated. "Kurt, I know Finn. And he's as straight as they come. He's like, obsessed with boobs. It's kind of weird, actually."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I just…I don't want you to get hurt, okay?"

"I know what I'm doing," Kurt said calmly, sitting down on the couch in his bedroom.

"No, you don't! God, Kurt, how are you so blind?"

"I'm not blind. I can see perfectly fine, Noah. And what I'm seeing is a gay who is clearly very deep in the closet and who chose a pretty girl to cover it up."

"FINN IS STRAIGHT, KURT!" Puck yelled.

Kurt blinked. "So you say."

"Whatever, Kurt. If you don't want to listen to me, then fine. Just don't come crying to me when he rejects and/or publicly humiliates you." He picked up his leather jacket and stomped up the stairs.

"Noah," Kurt shook his head. "Noah, wait, I…" he sat back. "I'm sorry," he whispered, but by then, his best friend was already tearing down the driveway.

Aw, man, he felt so bad about that.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," Puck apologized the next day at Kurt's locker.

"It's okay," Kurt said softly. "You were just looking out for me. I understand."

"Then you'll get over Finn?" Puck asked.

"Don't get your hopes up. But I will certainly try. So, your house for movie night?"

"Yep," Puck nodded. "See you at eight."

"Okay," Kurt agreed, closing his locker, sashaying to class, heart pounding for a brief moment as Finn walked by, but sighing heavily when he saw that he was with Quinn.

That night, they met at Puck's house for their Friday-night movie night. "So, what do we have tonight?" Kurt asked, settling in.

"How about one of your favorites?"

"_Gypsy_?" Kurt clapped his hands excitedly.

"Even better," Puck smirked, popping in a DVD.

"Really?" Kurt glared at the Mohawked teen as the titles came up. _"A Cinderella Story_?"

"Hey, I thought you loved CMM."

"I loved Chad Michael Murry, yes…in 2003, Noah."

"Oh, hush. We're watching this, okay?"

"Fine," Kurt huffed, pulling a blanket around him.

"What, are you cold?" Puck moved in closer. "Here, wanna cuddle?" Kurt nodded; they'd cuddled before, being best friends and all, and he _was_ cold. "There," Puck wrapped his arms around the pale brunette, securing him. "Is this better?"

"Much," Kurt breathed, trying to ignore the way his heart was beating rapidly. "It's perfect, actually."

"Hmm?" Puck asked, not quite hearing what Kurt had said.

"Nothing," Kurt murmured. "Nothing at all."

Nobody seemed to get Kurt quite like Noah did, and Noah loved that.

**Kurt: Noah, I need you. Please come over.**

**Noah: Be right there, little buddy.**

Puck drove to Kurt's house, wondering what could be wrong. He pulled into the driveway, letting himself in, wandering downstairs to Kurt's basement bedroom. "What's wrong, Kurt?" he found the teen dressed entirely in black, lying under the covers of his bed and facing the wall.

"Karofsky found out that I like Finn," Kurt said in a low voice. "And he…he…"

"He what?" Puck sat on the edge of Kurt's bed. "What did that fucker do, Kurt?"

"Told Finn," Kurt choked through his tears. "Told everyone, actually…"

"I'll kill that son of a bitch," Puck clenched his hands into fists. "No one messes with you, Kurt."

"I can't show my face at school again," Kurt moaned, pulling the covers over his head.

"Hey," Puck tried to yank the covers back, but Kurt held on tight to them. "Fine. I'm coming under there with you," Puck kicked off his sneakers, slipping under the covers. "You can't mope around here forever, Kurt. I'm on your side. You know I am."

"I'm just waiting for it," Kurt whispered.

"Waiting for what?" Puck asked confusedly.

"The 'I-told-you-so'," Kurt said, a hint of 'duh' in his voice.

"Right," Puck laughed. "Well, I'm not going to say it. What Karofsky did was messed up, Kurt." He slid his arms around Kurt, bringing him closer. "And he will pay for what he's done."

Kurt shivered, despite the sudden heat. "You'd do that for me?"

"Dude, I'd do anything for you," Puck hugged Kurt tightly.

They couldn't live without each other, really.

Puck left Kurt's house when he was satisfied that Kurt was going to be okay. Kurt rolled out of bed, took a long, hot shower, and changed into his favorite pajamas, hoping they'd give him some comfort after the humiliating day he'd just had. He reached into his nightstand, grabbing his diary, flipping to the next clean page and beginning to write.

"Dear Diary,

I just had the worst day. Karofsky somehow figured out that I like Finn, and he told everyone in school…including, of course, Finn himself. I've never been so humiliated in my life, Diary. Thank goodness for Noah. He came right over and comforted me. I really love him. Oh, my God. Did I really just say that? I…I mean, like a brother. Right? I can't love Noah. He's my best friend…he always has been…I can't be in love with him. We're just friends. Besides, he's even straighter than Finn. I…I don't know…what to do. I'm just confused, I guess."

Kurt sighed, putting the purple crushed-leather diary aside, mindful of the Bedazzled pattern on the back. He tried not to think about how nice Puck's arms felt around him, or how good he smelled, or how their hands always brushed up against each other, or that Puck knew more about him than anyone else, and yet had never betrayed him.

Puck didn't wanna fly if Kurt was still on the ground.

"Does your dad even know you're gay?"

Kurt shrugged. "I'd hope he suspects it by now. I mean, I did ask him for a pair of sensible heels for my third birthday."

Puck laughed. "Seriously?"

Kurt stuck his nose in the air. "I was a very precocious toddler, thank you very much."

"So, are you gonna tell him?"

"Yeah. Tonight, I guess. It's as good a time as any," Kurt picked at an imaginary piece of lint on his sweater.

"Text me when you've told him, okay?" Puck hugged him for luck before dropping Kurt off.

"Thanks, I will," Kurt hopped out of the truck, walking straight into the house and sitting his dad down for a talk.

**Kurt: Told him. He took it well; said he already knew but supports me. Thanks for all of your help, Noah.**

**Noah: No problem, little buddy :-)**

Kurt smiled, shutting his phone and leaning back against the pillows. It felt good to have a best friend such as Puck. He considered himself lucky to have a best friend, even if he didn't have a mother anymore and was an only child. And as far as best friends went, Puck was number one.

But what if he was in love with him, and it wrecked their friendship?

"Let's go shopping!" Kurt chattered excitedly.

"Nah," Puck made a face. "Let's go watch a game on TV."

"A game?" Kurt rolled his eyes. "Why watch a bunch of sweaty men run around tackling each other and throwing a ball around?"

"Well, I'm not going shopping with you. Whenever we go shopping, I end up carrying your bags for you."

"We're going shopping."

"No, we're watching a game."

Kurt narrowed his eyes; it was on. "Shopping."

Puck returned the glare. "Game."

"Shopping."

"Game."

"Shopping."

"Game."

"Shopping," Kurt dropped his signature bitch glare.

"Whoa," Puck recoiled. "You know how I hate the bitch glare," he shuddered.

"Good," Kurt smiled smugly. "Then we're going shopping."

"Fine," Puck sighed. "But you're carrying your own bags."

"Deal."

Puck couldn't be himself around anyone else but Kurt.

That's why he was jealous when Kurt got a new friend.

"So why were you talking to that girl?" Puck asked.

"Mercedes? Well, she has the potential to be an amazing fashionista. She just needs a bit of…guidance."

"And you would be that guidance?" Puck raised his brows.

"Of course," Kurt scoffed. "Besides, have you heard her sing? She's incredible. Not as good as me, naturally, but still, quite good."

"She isn't as good as me, right?" Puck joked.

"Oh, lord, no. And she can't play guitar." Kurt blushed a little, thinking of how Puck would always play his guitar as Kurt danced and sang around the backyard.

"Good to know I still have my best friend. I _do_ have my best friend, right?" Puck slung an arm around Kurt's shoulder.

"Oh, yes," Kurt blushed a little harder. "I promise, you'll always be my best friend, and you'll always come first."

"Good," Puck tickled Kurt gently, causing the smaller boy to squirm. "'cause you'll always come first in my world."

Maybe it was finally time to come clean…

"You're being quiet. What's up?"

Kurt shrugged. "Just tired, I guess."

"Come on, Kurt, spill. I know you. We tell each other everything."

Kurt sighed heavily. "Well this, I can't tell you, Noah."

"Why not?" the Jewish teen demanded.

"You wouldn't…understand."

"Bet I would."

"Well, you wouldn't like it."

"Try me."

Kurt pulled the afghan over his head. "No."

"Now you're just being silly, Kurt," Puck laughed. "Come on, what's so terrible that you can't tell me, your best friend?"

"This is bad, Puck. Really bad."

"Are you in trouble? Kurt, are you doing drugs? Did someone hurt you? Come on, just tell me," Puck demanded, growing worried at Kurt's silence.

"If I tell you, will you hate me forever?" Kurt's voice was muffled by the afghan.

"Of course not," Puck said softly. "Come on, Kurt. Tell me what's wrong."

"I'm in love with you," Kurt said, the fabric stuffed in his mouth so that Puck couldn't understand him.

"What was that?" Puck gently pulled the afghan away.

"I said," Kurt cleared his throat. "I said, 'I'm in love with you.'"

"Is that it?" Puck smirked. "Come on, Kurt. I knew that already."

"Wh…wh…what?" Kurt stammered.

"It was pretty obvious, Kurt. But it's okay. I'm cool with it."

"I don't suppose you…?" Kurt asked hopefully.

"Sorry, Kurt. But I'm straight, and you know it."

"I'm never going to have a boyfriend," Kurt slumped in his seat.

"Yes, you are," Puck slid in next to him. "And when you do, I'm gonna be really happy for you. Hey, I'll be the best man at your wedding, okay? I'll wear whatever you want me to. And I'll always be your best friend. I love you, Kurt, but I'm not _in_ love with you. You get it?"

"Yes," Kurt murmured. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Puck asked confusedly.

"For making this…our friendship…uncomfortable and awkward now."

"It's not awkward. Like I said, I'm cool with it." Puck stroked Kurt's cheek. "I'm always here for you."

Kurt reflexively leaned into Puck's touch. "Thank you. I…I love you."

"Love you too, little buddy," Puck sweetly kissed Kurt on the forehead, ruffling his hair a little, bringing the small boy in for a cuddle and a movie, Kurt falling asleep in his best friend's arms.


End file.
